At the office party, I didn’t want to explain my sobriety, so I told everyone I was a "Water Sommelier." I spent 20 minutes describing the "earthy notes" and "aggressive bubbles" of a bottle of Kering...

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By The Water Sommelier Jan 06, 2026 at 07:02 AM
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Waking up at 6am naturally. Used to think morning people were aliens. Turns out I was just hungover until noon. The sunrise is beautiful, who knew?

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By Early Bird Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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Did karaoke sober for the first time. Usually I needed 3 beers for courage. Last night? Nailed "Bohemian Rhapsody" stone cold sober. The crowd went wild. Who needs liquid courage when you've got actua...

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By Anonymous Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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My six-pack is finally showing. Used to blame "genetics" for my beer belly. Turns out it was just beer. Who knew?

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By Gym Bro Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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I used to think I was the king of the dance floor after four Tuskers. My friends finally showed me a video of "Sober Me" vs "Drunk Me." Drunk Me looked like a startled giraffe trying to escape a net. ...

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By The Dance Floor Ghost Jan 06, 2026 at 07:01 AM
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For years, I believed that three shots of tequila transformed me into a mix of Michael Jackson and a rhythmic gymnast. Last night at my cousin's wedding, stone-cold sober, I watched a video of myself ...

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By The sober detective Jan 06, 2026 at 06:58 AM
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People say I'm funnier sober. I remember my jokes now. And I don't repeat the same story 5 times. Progress!

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By Comedian Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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Eating amazing food without getting sleepy from drinks. I can actually finish my plate AND dessert. Revolutionary.

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By Foodie Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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I used to think I was the king of the dance floor after four Tuskers. My friends finally showed me a video of "Sober Me" vs "Drunk Me." Drunk Me looked like a startled giraffe trying to escape a net. ...

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By The Dance Floor Ghost Jan 06, 2026 at 07:01 AM
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Alcohol

(No title)

Today I walked past a bar and my brain started negotiating like a lawyer. I almost slipped, but I paused and remembered why I started. I stared at my trigger like it owed me money, then walked away. T...

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By David Oct 21, 2025 at 10:34 PM
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For ten years, the only time I saw the sunrise was while stumbling out of a club in Westlands, looking for eggs. This morning, I saw it from my balcony with a cup of tea. It turns out the sun is actua...

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By Morning Glory Jan 06, 2026 at 07:01 AM
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Used to spend bar money on... bars. Now spending it on my plants. My house looks like a jungle. I talk to them sober. They're better listeners than drunk friends.

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By Anonymous Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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I didn’t realize how much my weekends were planned around alcohol. I feel proud and scared at the same time β€” like I’m growing up late. I drank water like it was medicine and honestly… it kind of is. ...

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By Olivia Nov 15, 2025 at 03:25 AM
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I used to think I was the king of the dance floor after four Tuskers. My friends finally showed me a video of "Sober Me" vs "Drunk Me." Drunk Me looked like a startled giraffe trying to escape a net. ...

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By The Dance Floor Ghost Jan 06, 2026 at 07:07 AM
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Haven't lost my phone in months. Used to "misplace" it every weekend. Turns out it was in weird places because drunk me had creative hiding spots.

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By Anonymous Jan 03, 2026 at 05:21 PM
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