My Mum Found My Old Stash and Thought It Was Tea Leaves

Cleaning the house with mum during December holidays. She opens an old shoebox under my bed and pulls out a ziplock of ancient mbush. Holds it up: "Mwanangu, hii ni chai gani? Inanuka poa!" I froze like statue. She proceeds to boil water to "sample" it. I snatched it mid-air: "Mum, hiyo ni ya kuwasha moto tu!" She still thinks I was hiding fancy masala tea from her. Close call of the century. Now the real stash is in a marked "Rat Poison" container — safest place ever.